Family and friends mark the anniversary of a death of a loved one in many ways. Some visit the cemetery, some gather for a meal and share memories, some reflect quietly at a favourite place that the deceased loved, for example.
Some don’t live nearby and are unable to visit the cemetery or be with family.
There is no right or wrong way to mark an anniversary but what is important, is to let the family know that you are thinking of them, especially on the anniversary.
There is often a void between people gathering for a funeral and memorial service, and supporting the family AFTER the fomalities of the funeral. Sometimes the words don’t come easily to comfort someone in grief. But what is important, is being there, listening, sitting quietly, sharing memories and being a great support person.
In today’s world of iphones, it is easy to put reminder dates in our calendars, to stay in touch and say, hey, we are thinking of you.
Create a ritual for anniversary gatherings
When generations of families gather to remember and reflect about their loved one, why not create some new memories or traditions?
Here are some ideas for you to consider:
- plant a tree in memory of the person – remember to take photos so you can record the growth of the tree on each anniversary
- create a living memory in other ways such as building a garden path and placing a bench where you can sit, read, reflect and take comfort – whatever is meaningful to you
- ask each person to write a poem or short story about their favourite memory and combine these in a book with some favourite photos for everyone to share. Print multiple copies as a loving keepsake
- have a music afternoon – play favourite songs and remember wonderful moments
- make a quilt from some of their favourite clothes – keepsake quilts are a warm and comforting way to keep you wrapped in love
- if your loved one had a favourite event or local group, create an annual award in their honour
- support a cause that was important to your loved one such as Cancer Council, the Heart Foundation etc
- go for a favourite walk that you shared or visit a favourite place.
The ideas are endless so create or do something that is meaningful to you.
Be a good friend
Being a good friend is about letting those closest to you, know that you are thinking of them. Yes, it may bring tears, but it will also bring comfort and caring. We can’t change the fact that a precious loved one has died but we can change the way we remember, support and share memories.
